Trying to make sense of emotions and memories on certain days of the year can be challenging. While the mind knows one thing and moves in that direction, the pendulum can quickly swing on an opposite course where the heart and spirit are concerned. We can logically reason that a date on the calendar is just that, another day like any other. Yet, our emotions are capable of causing anxiety for what that day may actually bring. Sorting through special days is necessary as we maneuver the journey of loss and grief.
Today is a special day for our family. It is my husband’s birthday. We’ve crossed four of these particular days since his passing in 2010. Birthdays were a big thing in our family. He loved to open presents first thing in the morning. There was no such thing as waiting until the evening to begin celebrating. While we would generally have a special dinner, and definitely his favorite Banana Nut Cake, the cards, presents and birthday serenading began upon rising in the morning.
As I realize the arrival of another birthday that won’t be celebrated, it strikes me that today is still special. I do not have to dread it. Each day we are given should be treated as a gift. Scripture reminds us, “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24 ESV)
Just because I will not be giving birthday presents and baking a cake does not mean there is no reason to celebrate. God gives each day to use for His glory. My purpose in life did not end four years ago. As I spend time sorting through special days like today, I learn to live with tears in my heart, if not on my face.
If you too have certain days that are harder than others, be encouraged. You are here for a reason and you are not alone. Allow yourself time in sorting through your special days. Give yourself permission to cry and grieve along the way. Then decide how you can still appreciate those days in a new way. You can gain strength and hope as you successfully maneuver through your own journey of loss and grief, one day at a time.
Until next time –