In my early months of grief, I would find myself allowing my mind to wander to unhealthy places. For instance, I would have a few decent days and instead of rejoicing in those, I would be bracing myself, convinced that a hard, sad day was just around the corner. Part of this may have been dealing with unnecessary guilt. There are times during the early days of grief when you might feel badly for smiling or laughing, thinking it is disloyal to your loved one. While this is natural, it is not a place to park and stay. It is important to realize that you deserve to find some joy even in your difficult days.
There are other times when your imagination may take off and you allow your mind to rest on unpleasant thoughts and scary possibilities for your future. These are situations that are very unlikely to happen and are not worth your worry, time, or energy. Expecting the worst is a very unhealthy place to go. Don’t go there. Do not set yourself up for more hardship than you already face in journeying through grief.
Realize that when your mind roams off course and you may think, “What if this…… happens” you are robbing yourself of the actual day you have been given. I have found myself worrying about something happening to someone else I love, or wondering what the next year might look like. These are things that I cannot control. So why invest time worrying about them. Tell yourself, “Don’t go there.” Do not ruin the perfectly good day you have by fretting over something that is likely to never happen.
Worrying about things will not change your circumstances. It may change you. Worry can make you a hesitant person; someone who is afraid of trying new things. A person who spends their time scared of what might happen is a person who is unable to see what is right before them in the here and now. By living that way, you fail to receive the blessing that today holds for you and you lack the peace that can be yours.
Sure there will be challenges in the future. You have already faced difficult times in dealing with the loss of a loved one. However, look what you have accomplished! You got up this morning. You are able to continue living even in the midst of deep sorrow and pain. Each day you choose to live to the best of your ability is a day you tell yourself, “Don’t go there.” Do not allow yourself to sink into the pit of despair, fear, and unnecessary thoughts.
The Bible tells us to “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7. (NIV) Let God take care of the things out of your control. Ask Him to keep your family safe and to continue to meet your needs. Seek Him when your imagination runs wild and you panic, thinking something bad is going to happen again. Don’t go there with your thoughts. Instead, allow Him to handle those things that scare you and steal your peace and joy.
Until next time –
Grief Letters is available for you to purchase. Having hope and purpose is not impossible when facing loss and pain. This devotion book is filled with lessons learned from my own journey as well as suggested activities written to help achieve forward progress through grief. Place your order today!
Grief Letters By Karen Bransgrove, Published by WestBow Press. You can order here.
Hardcover | 6 x 9 in | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869674
Softcover | 6 x 9 in | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869667
E-Book | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869650
Also available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.