I find that the world in which we live tends to entice us in wanting more and more. The status quo is rarely enough. We must have more and more of: time, clothing, toys, friends, bling, food…the list could continue. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, it would be easy to want more and more of things that we, on the journey of grief, feel we can no longer have. Yet, I would like to put a different twist on what we can possess.
Even though we feel set apart from those around us who use this holiday to show love to one another, we too can convey and receive love. Grieving a friend or loved one proves that we have known love. We grieve and miss them because we loved them. While it may be painful, it is actually a gift in having been part of such a meaningful relationship. Some people never realize and experience this type of bond.
So while you may feel you are missing out on a special day, February 14, your persistent, ever-present pain at this time allows you to remember that every day should be special and distinct. Experiencing grief tends to make us appreciate and value our days and our loved ones more.
Emotions can be difficult. People have the inability to keep their feeling stagnant and the same. Being sad one moment and happy the next tends to be the way of life. Human emotions have the tendency to change and fluctuate like the wind. Knowing this, we can make choices to guard against such emotional swings as we walk through grief.
We can choose to grow more and more bitter, isolated, and sullen in our grief journey or we can choose the opposite. Having more and more grace and love for ourselves and those around us reflects what Christ has done for us. Nothing we do or fail to do can make His feelings for us decrease or increase. God’s love is perfect and sufficient. That is the example we can follow.
So this Valentine’s Day, instead of bemoaning the fact that we cannot celebrate the day like others do, we can make sure that those we still have in our lives know that they are loved and appreciated. Spend time with friends, send emails or letters to family. Go have dinner out or watch a fun movie in. Focus on what you do possess with all the gratitude, grace and love you can muster. God can fill in the gaps where you may fall short.
May your day be filled with more and more patience, grace, love, freedom, joy, and beauty.
Until next time –