Self Talk


Jokes are sometimes made about people who talk to themselves. The old adage assures you that the problem is not so much talking to yourself. The challenge is actually found when you begin answering back. I want to propose that the real danger can be the actual message you convey in your own self talk.

As you journey through grief, the person you tend to spend the most time with is yourself. For that reason, the things you hear yourself saying are important and impactful. Even if the words are never given voice, your heart and mind are shaped by the very thoughts that make up your self talk.

A positive attitude, while difficult to muster in the midst of sorrow, can alter how you see your journey. Instead of listening to negative self talk, look for positive truths you can still believe. While you may no longer have your loved one with you physically, your memories are things that cannot be taken from you. Reminding yourself of the precious treasures you still possess can help you change directions  from the road of despair to a path of hope and healing.

Begin to whisper truths to yourself. Be kind, gentle, and generous in your self talk. You have already been through so much. There is no need to bring harshness and negativity along with you on your journey. You will need to face enough difficulties as you learn to live with loss. Life will not always seem fair to you so do your best to be honest and positive as you have conversations which involve your mind and heart.

What is life but a bittersweet mix of sadness, wonderment, joy, and hope? There will be difficult days ahead. Yet, intermingled in those hard days will be glimpses of memories that will make you smile. Speak words of encouragement to your own ears. Your positive self talk can be one of the best gifts you receive today.

Until next time –



Grief Letters By Karen Bransgrove, Published by WestBow Press. You can order here.

Hardcover | 6 x 9 in | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869674

Softcover | 6 x 9 in | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869667

E-Book | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869650

Also available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.