“It scares me”

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Since Sunday was the morning after Independence Day, it seemed natural that conversations would include discussions on local firework shows that people saw. As I greeted families at church, I would ask how their holiday was and would get tales of the sights and sounds they had enjoyed. However, one little 4-year old was less than excited as we discussed the past evening. While she had liked the colors, she was very hesitant to talk about it. When I bent down so we were face to face, her big brown eyes were wide as she leaned into me, hiding her face and said, “It scared me.”

I immediately reassured her that the loud noises often scare and startle people and there is nothing wrong with that. Her tender little ears and gentle spirit just did not appreciate all that noise. As I gave her a hug before she ran off to play, I thought how her honest assessment of the evening’s situation was much like life’s journey. “It scares me” is often how I feel when I think of facing the next 35 to 40 years on my own.

Will you continue to live where you do presently? Does your career stay the same or will God shape and change that too? Are the nights destined to always look the same? How will you manage to make ends meet now? What does God intend for you one year, five years, ten years in the future?

The grief journey can cause you to stop and evaluate often. Even if you, yourself, are not experiencing the loss of a loved one, it is most likely you know of someone who is. Watching that person deal with death and all that is involved can give cause to reflecting upon how you would handle such a situation. However, until you are truly in the midst of deep grief yourself, your imagining things will be is just that – imagined and not for real.

For those of you walking your own journey of loss and pain, saying the words, “It scares me” at times takes courage. For one thing, you are admitting you do not have all the answers. Pointing to and admitting your weakness is not an easy thing. It takes bravery to be so bluntly honest. However, how you proceed after admitting your fear is the real test of courage.

My little friend who admitted that the fireworks frightened her is hardly able to handle her fears alone. She has loving parents who care deeply for her, necessarily reassuring her when she is scared.

Those of you who are faced with walking through grief are not equipped to deal with your loss and fears alone either. As you say, “it scares me” you have a Heavenly Father who is waiting for you to turn to Him. He places caring people in your path who can encourage and help you as you honestly evaluate your future. Reading His Word, the Bible, guides you as well, as you find peace and direction in its words.

There is no weakness is admitting your needs. Unless you are willing to surrender and accept the help offered, you may spend more time than necessary frightened, feeling lost and alone, and questioning the next move forward in your grief journey. May you find hope and strength for the days ahead as you voice with honesty admitting that at times, “it scares me” to God above and to those around you.

Until next time –

Karen

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Grief Letters By Karen Bransgrove, Published by WestBow Press. You can order here.

Hardcover | 6 x 9 in | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869674

Softcover | 6 x 9 in | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869667

E-Book | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869650

Also available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.