Every Man for Himself


Last night I had the pleasure of attending the Barry Manilow concert in downtown Denver. This was a special night I had planned for months with friends of mine. As time approached I decided that I would take the light rail from my suburban home into Denver. Having done this quite often, I had no reservations about the plan. However, little did I know that the night would end up with me fighting the mentality of every man for himself.

The problem occurred after the fantastic evening at the Denver Convention Center where my friends and I greatly enjoyed the music and show. Thank you Barry! The walk to and wait for the train was not beyond what was expected. However, clues of difficulties could be seen as we jammed on a short train and crept along at a snail’s pace instead of the usual zipping from station to station. Apparently there was maintenance being done on the track down south that was slowing our progress. The four of us successfully made it to the transfer station and after a rather long wait I was first to bid my three friends good-bye as I hopped onto the D Line train.

Little did I know that my innocent choice would lead to several hours of being stranded and experiencing the every man for himself attitude of this world. We only managed to crawl slowly one stop south when apparently we lost power. This resulted in the air halting, the lights growing rather dim and completely going out at times, and most disturbingly our train being stuck. We sat for a while and then the conductor came on saying the train was out of commission and we were basically on our own. They were going to look into getting busses to pick us up but no timeline could be established. We could sit on the train or unload and figure it out on our own. They finally managed to get a couple of emergency doors open and we all began to pour out into the night, badly needing fresh air.

This is when the learning really began. There was no plan and no cooperation between passengers to figure things out. Thinking back on it this morning, I can compare the experience to journeying through grief.

As you find yourself disconnection and alone in a sudden unfamiliar life-path, you often have to figure out how to move forward outside of your well-laid-out plan. One moment you have your destination in sight and you are excited for what the future holds. The next, you are standing feeling very alone in a crowd of strangers with no one understanding quite what to do or in what direction to walk.

While the conductor on the light rail failed to give clear instructions last night, that is actually a great picture of what it is like to live facing death and loneliness. No one can really determine your path except for you. Hopefully you will be able to connect through support groups to find others in similar situations to help you learn to navigate your grief journey. However, in order to do so, you often need to be brave enough to reach out and admit your need for help and direction.

Last night, I swallowed my pride and usual sense of independence and called me son, who gladly came and picked me up even though it was close to midnight by that time. He later commented that he did not want me standing in the dark or riding a bus trying to figure out how to get to my car by myself.

That is how the grief journey is, my friends. There are people around more than willing to help. However, they often do not realize that you need assistance nor do they know how to come to your aid. They fear doing the wrong thing, so they fail to do anything at all. Put your pride aside, be courageous, and ask for help. Admit first to yourself that you do not know how to get to your destination and then be open to someone who God places in your life. These people can take your hand and cheer you on as you figure out how to move forward on your journey of grief.

Keep moving! Refuse to cave in to the every man for himself mentality of today. Instead open up and receive the blessing of others and the relationships they can offer you as you formulate and figure out your next step in moving forward.

Until next time –


Grief Letters is available for you to purchase. Having hope and purpose is not impossible when facing loss and pain. This devotion book is filled with lessons learned from my own journey as well as suggested activities written to help achieve forward progress through grief. Place your order today!


Grief Letters By Karen Bransgrove, Published by WestBow Press. You can order here.

Hardcover | 6 x 9 in | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869674

Softcover | 6 x 9 in | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869667

E-Book | 114 pages | ISBN 9781490869650

Also available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

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